Monday, January 9, 2012

Women Don't Let Tyler Perry Ruin Your Life

A word to black women: stop feeling like you should be able to find the perfect men if you aren’t bring anything to the table. Don’t get me wrong I love black women there is no other race that has endured as much as a black women, but this whole "me" attitude has got to go. Every time I ask a black female about why she broke up with her boyfriend I get things like, “He didn’t call last night”, “He was cheating” etc. But when I ask “How did you know he was cheating”. I get some of the most random responses:

I got my hair don’t and he didn’t tell me it was nice so he must have another girl

He coming home late

He took his ring off and left it at home he obviously has another woman but doesn’t want her to know he’s married.

He smells like perfume when he gets home.

Ladies cheating is a delicate issue, men have different minds than women and a big thing to you is most likely a small one to them. Now the only rule when it comes to cheating is:

Never think your man is cheating unless he is doing something very OBLIVIOUS 

Trust me there’s nothing worst then coming home and your women Is questioning where you were.  It's tacky and annoying have trust that your man loves you. Now if he comes home smelling like something he is not suppose to smell like, that’s when you ask him about it. Remember to ask him in a nice tone and believe what he says even if you don’t because if a man Is truly cheating he will slip up and that's when you leave. You don’t want to look like a loud ghetto black women and he’s the one that’s suffering.

Now I want to talk about Tyler Perry: 

Don’t let Tyler Perry ruin your relationship like he has ruined the images of African American males in everybody’s mind.  Just because some black males cheat and beat they wives doesn’t mean everyone like that. Women love to see Tyler’s movies, I’m not going to lie I’ve seen a couple. But you know what I noticed in every movie, a BLACK male is always doing his wife wrong! A good example was on his second movie "Madea’s family Reunion" when Blair Underwood’s character was beating his wife. If you don’t know who Blair is he’s a good African American actor but I couldn’t see myself beating down my people by playing a wife beater. To some of the  African American community we know it’s just acting but to other races and communities it looks like its everyday life for us. Bottom line is all though Perry’s movies are good don’t judge every black male because of them,because there are more black males out there doing good, who wants to do right by their women then there is bad.

Another huge point I want to make is: 

Just because I talk to you doesn’t mean I want to have sex with you:

I can’t tell you how many times I see a beautiful black woman cursing people out because they held the door for them or gave them a compliment. Now when I give a girl a complement it is only to let them know that the extra effort you put in this morning when you were getting dressed didn’t go unnoticed. If I see a woman somewhere who’s dressed with a sophisticated sexy of course I’m going to complement you, I would be stupid not to.

The next point of this article: 

Is to be the strong women that your ancestors were: There is nothing worse than a female crying on social networking sites about their Ex-boyfriend. I don’t want to break the male code but every time a female especially a beautiful female breaks up with their man they thinks it’s okay to post their depressive feelings on the internet. Some men use this to pick up females in a rebound technique. They will message you something very emotional so that you instantly let your guard down so that they get an easy route to your heart. Be strong and keep your relationship private between you and the people you trust.

Do not post anything online that can come back to bite you in the butt: 

I can’t tell you how many times a female will call me crying because some people got a hold of her doing things that should have been keep in the privacy of her own room. Don’t let a man tell you to post a picture or video on the internet. Matter of fact don’t record, take pictures etc of you doing anything that should be private. But if you feel the urge to, then make sure your face and any other thing that can be used to identify you is covered up or taken off.

Stop going for the bad boys: 

I’m so tired of a women telling a man that he is too nice for them, I mean you would think that in this time of day that women would want the responsible man that will take care of you and will not leave you if you get pregnant. What usually happens is a woman meets a nice man, who is going to college and got his head on right. They get close and they both have feelings for each other, but when the man steps up and wants to claim you they get hit with this classic line “I like you a lot, but your just to nice. I need a man who’s not afraid to take a risk and to get dirty; we can be friends just not like that okay”, so then the nice guy gets mad and leaves them alone.

The woman then gets into a relationship with the first "bad boy" and gets hurt. So then they call the man that they said was too nice to rekindle some sort of a relationship but by then the man has moved on and wants nothing to do with you. The woman then gets this mindset that they have been wronged.

First thing, if I see that there is a fire in the house why would I go in ?  You knew that the whole "bad boy" thing wasn’t going to work out and that he wasn’t going to stay faithful, so why put yourself in that situation ?

Be an independent woman: Sometimes in a relationship you got to do you and he has to do him. No man likes his women constantly calling him over and over asking "where you at ?" or "why didn’t you answer my calls ?" and other stuff of a similar consistency. Go out with the girls, have some fun, drink a little bit. That gives you and him some space and it refreshes your relationship. Remember the phase “Absents makes a heart grow fonder” is 100% true.

Black women you are some of the strongest women on the planet so respect yourself and handle your situations like the strong women you are, and remember your in control if you say no then it’s not going to happen, and most importantly don’t compromise yourself to get a man. That man you like is one in a sea filled with men so stay true to yourself.

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