Cam Newton The TD Gawd #fantasyfootball

This has to be one of the weeks that make someone like me drink (I never drink before). Well this past weekend. I thought that the week Alex Smith was trying to fuck everybody was bad. This was worse.  For one, I had the team that would have me walking to wins each week. Cam Newton, Julio, Jamal Charles, Jimmy Graham, Amari Cooper and Latavius Murray to name the highlights. 

 As you know, Jamal Charles crashed and Jimmy followed too. I been able to pick up players along the way (David Johnson) and Sammy Watkins started to play football again. 

That's not what this is about. This is about the luck that I needed to have to win this past week. 

 The weekend started with about all my players but Julio having an 4:25 game. The person I played had some good players but not too good. At least that's what I thought. That was till Allen 'Fuck You Javaris" Robinson of the Jags dropped 43 on my ass. 'It's fucking over before it even started". I said as I walked around pissed. 

 I needed cam to try and at least bridge the gap. So you can just about see the look on my face as Cam started to have the bad game against the Saints. Of all the times I need for him to be about it.  

I just knew that I was fucked and the three seed was something that I would just be putting in the grass. 

I guess he heard me and all the other owners yelling at the TV as he ran in for a TD. 'Let's go". I was hype. It started to get even sweeter when he pitch the ball to the running ball for the TD. 

You see, I also have Stewart. The running back for the Panthers. So that counted as two TD's for me. Sweet baby Jesus. The team was rolling. No thanks to Ginn dropping three bombs. I had taken the league by 45 as the night ended. Well right before it ended. Drew found Brandon Cooks and that TD dropped me to around 35 points of my lead.  I was swearing. 

Why? Because the dude I was playing had Dez, McFadden and Witten. He had to be thinking that they would cover the points. I couldn't see it not happening. 

Monday night came and it was going my way the whole time. Washington was miking the clock and I was on cloud nine. That was till the last five minutes of the game. It started when Washington just let McFadden walk into the endzone. I started to feel weak. They traded punts for about two series and on this one punt. Where it seem like the game was going to end. I mean it was going to be over. All the team from Washington had to do was handle the punt. Go down and kick the field goal. End this thing. Nope. Desean Jackson had to be so fancy. He thought he was playing Madden for a minute. Just like Madden, he fumbled the ball. 


I blacked out after that as Dez started to catch and Witten started to catch one too. TD. McFadden. I swear I started to hate Fantasy football and everything to do with it. Like, how did I get here? Why play this shit? I started to pull for the game to be over as fast as possible. I'm talking about the team from Washington getting all the way to the endzone and give the ball up again fast. That would be nice. Since the Cowboys had the lead and didn't have to do anything else. 

Nope. I couldn't even get that. Fuck life. Desean wanted to make up for the fumble with catching a bomb. Ugh. Of all the times for this team to want to play. 

"GO FOR TWO". I yelled as loud as one man can yell. You would think I was the biggest fan of that team from Washington. They didn't. They tied the game and I prayed to God. 

I really got on my knees and asked God to help a brother out. Needed the Cowboys to get down the field and kick a field goal to win. I wasn't taking the chance of one of  the three to score. At this point I'm up by 12 nasty points.  

 First pass goes to Bryant the next goes to Witten. "Maybe God hates me". I ask myself. The next three plays was the most Cowboys thing I ever seen. They went to Bryant and I thought I was about to blow my mind clear out my head. He catches it and gives them another first down. Wait, he was outta bounds. He was outta bounds. It also wasn't an catch. 'God you love me". I think as the next play is broken up as Witten tried to catch and the next is outta bounds. 4th down and I'm over here wishing on a fucking star. 

 The Cowboys line up to kick. I'm back on my knees and I'm praying to all the Gods. All of them were going to hear me tonight. I left no stone under turned. 

 The Cowboys hike and as he's feet touch the ball I spaced out as I watch the kick. As I watch the kick fly right between the goal post and I seal the win. 

 I was running around the house like I was a Cowboy fan. 

Life shouldn't be like this. 

Life should be like this.  

Life.