Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Pretty Little Liars Season 3 Summer Finale Went Ape Shit

Before I say anything, no Emily is not dead. I know that's what you was thinking. Yeah it's wrote all over your face. Last night was season 3 summer finale and as we know they are always CRAZY. They always seem to end with somebody being dead,always. I mean can anybody stay alive ? 
Crystal and I went into this finale knowing that we would be sending texts to each other at rapid speed, but this has to be a record. We are still talking about this at the time I am typing this. 

The show opens up and it's Hanna crying and you see a ambulance "Ahhh" Crystal texts me "WTF" I text back. The scene shows that it's 2 people being put in the ambulance, don't know who but it's clear it's somebody they know since Hanna is crying her eyes out. Well played ABC Family. At first I'm like " Where's Emily" and then she pops up trying to answer the questions being asked by the cop to no may, after countless times of trying the cop just lets her go and she runs over into the arms of the gang. It cuts to the theme song and Crystal and I can chill our nerves again, for now. 

Opens back up with them 2 days before and they all camped out at Spencer house trying to get Emily to talk to them. They toss around a couple stupid ideas and lands on another stupid idea that kinda works when you 5. You know cause when your older and people start saying stuff you don't want to hear you can just leave the house, as she did. I was right with them tho. I didn't, well still don't like Paige aka Pig Skin. She got to go. I did feel bad for her after they showed what Ali did to her. That was just evil. 

Spencer says that by drugging herself, Paige pulled a classic Sharon Stone move from "Basic Instinct" and it gets you thinking, I mean the ones of us that know what she talking about got to thinking. "Is Paige trying to toss Emily off the trail?"

Spencer see Paige in the hallway and walks up to her and Pig Skin Paige goes into controlling down talk to my woman I got this mode. Spencer who seem like she don't want a hockey stick put up her ass, walks away. "Pig Skin really need to die I swear plz kill her off" I text to Crystal. This where it gets tricky. As Paige is talking to Emily about what happens she gets a text from A. I don't know what this text said cause we all know PLL thinks we all have 20/20 and can read small letters going across the screen. Whatever it was it left Paige shook. 

While all this is going on MonA breaks out of the Radley. By breaks out I mean just walks right out the door and out the gate. Um yeah O_o nobody saw her ? A couple texts get sent to the girls and you know I can't read that shit. The odd thing is that Emily going out of town with Nate. Nate "Mya Cousin" I say that with quotes because as I told Crystal weeks ago "Man I think Nate is that crazy ex Mya has, he don't seem right" and as the shows goes on he gets more and more creepy. "This dude forever creepy" I text "For real" she reply. Why would you travel out of town with the same dude that lip locked you, you the girlfriend of his dead cousin ? The same dude who said the famous line "Jenna Jenna I know you see me,gurl" lmao This dude is a fool.

But anywho she agrees to go out of town with him so she can feel so at peace before the trail starts. I really rather she hangout with Pig Skin. Speaking of Skin as Spencer is leaving the coffee shop she see Toby and like a love story they run into each other arms. Hugging and Kissing. For this to be ABC Family they sure gave a lot of kissing and _____ going on. I'll get to the _____ in a little bit. 

Aria got dropped a bomb, a really big bomb. Aria found out that Ezra is a black man. No not like that but Ezra got a baby momma. You get it ? Black man, baby momma ? Okay anyway. She finds out that Ezra had a baby with a women in high and his mother paid to make it go away. By the way his(Ezra) family is paid.  So Aria goes to see the woman to see if she okay and she was okay. That's not the boom. Here comes the boom. You see when Aria went to visit Maggie( the baby momma) she told her, her name was Amy and she wanted to be a teacher. You with me so far ? So when Aria leaves Maggie class we goes to talk to Ezra and Ezra lets her know that she spoke to Maggie and Maggie is doing well. She didn't say anything about a kid, the kid she was told to "get rid of" but she still had it. Free Money ? 

This leaves Aria in debate with herself, questioning should she tell him or not. *Knock,Knock* at Ezra door. "Oh it's just  Mrs. Rosenthal she forgets her keys I keep one here" Aria gets up and walks over to the door. "HOLY SHIT BATMAN" I text Crystal "OHHHHH" she texts me. I'm sure you can guess it wasn't Rosenthal, it was Maggie. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

"Shit about to get real in Rosewood" I text, and that's what you would think right ? But nope, she just smile and say "Hi, I'm Maggie nice to meet you" Wait WHAT ?!. The look on Aria face was priceless. You would have thought she seem a ghost. Aria ask "You gonna tell this muthafucker you got a baby" Aria said well not really said. "After I see if this shit is good for me and the baby" she say, not really saying that.Then that was that, O_o Hope they pick back up on it next season. 

Meanwhile over a Hanna house she is telling Caleb about A wanting to meet them at the grave site and to bring Mya bag. What is in this bag that A wants it so bad ? Must be a gun in it. Didn't somebody say gun ? Yeah Gun something like one Caleb has. Yup Caleb must of been listening to a lot of rap songs cause now he thinking he can carry a tool(gun). Hanna sees the gun and ask him to get rid of it. Yeah he gets rid of it. Right in her panity drawer. 

Now back to the ABC Family sure shows a lot of Kissing and _______. Let me fill that in for you. For this to be ABC Family they sure show a lot of Kissing and Sex. Yes Sex. Tody and Spencer had sex last night. I really don't need to say anything else about that do I ? Good. 

 In A's new lair, some scary rock music is playing, as MonA spins around the room looking at the various shrines to the little liars and Ali. Then she says, "Change of plans," to another A we still can't see behind the hood.

Hanna, Caleb, Spencer and Aria are staring at Ali's grave, which no one has filled apparently. Over at the inn, Emily's landline rings and a disguised voice a la the "Scream" franchise tells Emily, "You have one minute. GET OUT!" Unfortunately, that request is not followed by, "Do you like scary movies?"

Nate's nowhere to be found so Emily snoops in his bag and sees the unaddressed note for Maya's parents she had given him to deliver at the beginning of the season. But before she can think too much, Nate's back and she notices there's paint on his shoe. While I assumed, this meant he wasn't a student, but a road worker who paints the stripes on streets, it triggers a different thought for Emily. She looks at pictures of Maya on her phone and sees his shoe in one photo of her at Tru North. "Why wouldn't she try to run instead of looking in his backpack?" I text. "And why wouldn't he get new shoes?" I wonder.

Back at the cemetery, Hanna, Spencer and Aria realize Paige and/or MonA isn't coming so they split up to check out the two Lighthouse Rock Inns: the girls go to the one they find in Bayhead and Caleb heads to another one Belmar.
Quick-thinking Emily decides to go for a walk to make a phone call (a.k.a. escape from Nate). But suddenly, Nate appears uninvited.
"You scared me half to death," Emily says breathily.
"Not really. But I will," Nate creepily replies with a smile.
"Nate is creeping me out" Crystal text.
Back in the room, Nate shows Emily a video diary from Maya, telling her about her Tru North stalker, all while Nate pounds a knife into the table behind Em. "Nate's cray cray," I text "And he wears too much mascara." The real sign of cray.

Nate admits he loved Maya and because Em took her from him, Nate's going to do the same to her. He opens up a closet where Paige is tied up with tape over her mouth. He touches Emily creepily, recalls their kiss and then, when he turns his back, Em grabs her phone. She pleads to Nate, who says his real name is Lyndon James, but no luck.

Before I go on I just want to say I TOLD YOU SO. I TOLD YOU SO. Okay go on reading. 

When Nate goes to the window after he hears something outside, Emily escapes, leaving her beloved Paige behind. "Kill The Pig" I text.

Emily heads to the lighthouse in hopes of cell service, a wise place to go since there's nowhere to go from there but dozens of feet down. When she finally gets a signal, she calls 911, but Nate quickly appears and tries to hurt her with the knife. 

Em wrestles the knife out of his hands after a lot of struggling and stabs him, just as Caleb arrives to find her shaking. He places his gun down and hugs Emily. As the camera zooms out, a shot goes off. "YOOO EM a ice cold killer, wait what the fuck was that a gun shot"  I text. 

 Next, we're back where we started: ambulances, Hanna balling and we see Caleb has been shot and is being wheeled into an ambulance. But then, there's another stretcher, with a body bag -- it's Nate's. As Hanna cries, Emily looks stunned, unable to answer an officer's questions while Paige tells the cop about the text she received from A. Paige and Spencer exchange glances and I think Spencer's eyes are saying, "Sorry."

The girls (Paige not included) head to the hospital, where Emily's mom meets them. She says Caleb's in surgery and soon thereafter, the girls' phones go off. Emily answers and the same disguised voice says, "Emily. I owe you one."

Now, outside Radley, MonA's back in her frilly socks, walking with a hooded figure. She tells her still-hooded A, "If I knew Nate was going to get Garrett out, I would have stayed in tonight. You have to get Maya's phone back. It shouldn't be too difficult -- Paige doesn't even know she has Maya's phone. Sucks we didn't get to make that phone call. 'Ring ring. What's Paige's doing with Maya's cell phone? O-M-G. She must be the killer.' Oh well. Even the best laid plans go awry."

As MonA enters the building, the hooded figure turns around. It's a werewolf. It's Marcia Brady after she got hit by the football. No! It's Toby."ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME" I yell as I text. "No Way I liked Tody" she text back. Why he running off so odd, I think in my head. 

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